Reviewed – Eric Clapton and Van Morrison Stand and Deliver

Rating – 1/5

“Stand and Deliver” your Ocado shopping at a safe distance of two metres from Eric’s front door because he doesn’t like cloth face coverings. It’s  time to strap on some PPE and dig around in a big old bucket of coronavirus hoax malarkey with Clapton and Van Morrison. 

A classic Clapton blues track, whereby he alludes that “not a word we’ve heard was true” and equates following medical advice to “slavery”. Hoo boy that one doesn’t track too well; well I guess if you’re going to talk about slavery in a blues song as a rich white guy…in for a penny in for a pound!

Up to a certain point you could attempt to enjoy this song by pretending that the sentiments expressed are simply a critique of general political failings, which you know is pretty much a staple for musicians. Then we get this doozy of a line: “Dick Turpin wore a mask too” ohh there’s the completely tone deaf, tin foil clad sentiment staggering heedlessly towards us. 

Wait so…the government is making us wear masks so they’re…like a highwayman robbing us because we’re wearing… No, no that’s not right. Anyway I’m sure there’s some sort of message buried within the mixed metaphor. I’m no lyricist so I guess it’s up to Eric to explain this one to us. 

Instead of using their creative talent and songwriting abilities to actually make a statement about, yes  the many many many things wrong with government, we’re treated  instead to the musical equivalent of an Alex Jones broadcast. 

Whatever your political stance, it’s just depressing that the anti intellectualism on display is allowed to parade itself as special or different by virtue of its contrarian nature. If anything crackpot theories like the ones championed here actually do more to steer the conversation away from the wider problems of authoritarianism because the actual nasty shit that happens within government, and has been happening for many years, is conveniently swept under the rug in favour of this crap.

There’s no boogeyman guys, but there are a lot of extremely wealthy individuals elected that benefit from the disinterest of the public in their activities. Does this mean that Clapton and Van Morrison needed to launch a smear campaign against hardworking medical staff across the world? 

It just reeks of being completely out of touch with the situation. Clapton and Van Morrison will be fine; with access to excellent medical care, no money worries and the luxury of living life without feeling the sting of what ordinary people have to put up with during a pandemic.

Is the government on the side of ordinary people? Probably not, hardly a new or interesting sentiment. Does wearing a mask actually rid you of your individual liberty? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, no it doesn’t. Thanks for the hot take guys but we’ll probably file “Stand and Deliver” under ‘Aging Rockstar Bloopers’ and move on with our lives.

Review by Theo Wildgoose

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